FET – Troubles with friends

I feel like I almost need to apologise before I even write this post as I know I shouldn’t really feel like this but I need to get it off my chest.

It would appear that by deciding to do our FET cycle now, we have really upset our close friends. I’m really not sure what I could have done any different and the more I think about it the more I feel angry about the whole situation.

My best friends have been trying for a second child for about 3 years now and sadly they have had a number of problems, pregnancies which have ended in miscarriage, ectopic & surgery and one IVF which failed and I have supported her throughout these times as best as I can.

We only decided to do our FET cycle about 2 months ago after receiving a letter through the post in May, however, to be honest, both myself & my husband have hardly even spoke about it. Trying to not believe that we would have to go down that route again. But when my period came 2 months ago after a 31 day cycle & me believing that I may have finally fallen pregnant naturally (after 8 years), my husband suggested giving it a go. So the very next day I called the clinic to book in.

Unbeknown to me, my friend had decided to book in for her first FET cycle too and this means we are following the same cycle together. To which she seems to find this upsetting (as we didn’t tell her directly we were going to go ahead with it). The truth is, I called the clinic on the Monday & told her on the following Saturday. Is that too long even though I hadn’t seen her in between? I didn’t even think anything of it (maybe I should have, I don’t know) but I didn’t. I mean we’d hardly even discussed it ourselves, so why would I think to keep her informed more than I did.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand why it would throw her for 6 but upset her so much she had to keep it in for 2 months and throw it back at me in text messages after me starting a fairly standard text chat?

I just keep thinking about it more & more and it’s making me cross. I mean, she never thought about my feelings when she announced she was pregnant with her first child, a year after I’d been trying. Nor did she think about my feelings when she started trying for her second child (2 YEARS LATER) before I’d even started my first round of IVF. And I know this will sound heartless, but she never thought about my feelings when she announced she was pregnant when I was in the middle of my first IVF (even though I know what she’s been through since then).

Does now that she has been trying for 3 years for her second baby, give her the dibs on infertility??? Am I now not allowed to be infertile & go through IVF because she is???

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